A tale of the van bound travelers
by OriginalPippie
Summary: The Monkees: The third part of my Summer of 68 series. Micky and August are gone. Everyone else has gone to look for them. This is the previously untol story of Peter and Davy's adventure with Brownie and Tulip in Tulip's van.
1. Ramble on

Part one: Ramble On

Davy crawled into the very back of the van and looked around. The back had been colorfully decorated with carpeting all around, even on the roof. A few posters had been tacked along the sides and there were fringed colored beads hanging along the top edges of the entire inside of the van. There were no seats in the van except for the two up front and for one long cushion and a few fluffy pillows in the back.

"Well… I'd like the number for your interior decorator." Davy said with a smirk

"You like it back there? I did it myself." Tulip answered from the front seat

"Looks nice." Peter crawled inside the van "But we're supposed to be on a mission to find Micky and August."

"Right baby!" Brownie laughed, getting in the front passenger seat "Let's go!"

Tulip started the van and pulled it out of the driveway. The van drove part way over the curb at the end of the driveway, causing a small jolt on the inside.

"Do you trust this guy's driving?" Peter whispered to Davy

"About as far as I can throw Mike."

"Oh shit…"

Tulip looked in the rearview mirror and caught a glimpse of Mike and Trixie. The two of them appeared to be nervous as they stood there watching them leave. Putting them out of his mind he floored the gas pedal, speeding away. This proved to be the smoothest start to their journey that they could ask for. Davy and Peter, wide-eyed and white-knuckled, tried to hold on dearly for dear life as they tumbled about the back of the van without seatbelts. Tulip and Brownie only laughed, saying that this was nothing new to either of them. This bit of information didn't exactly ease their minds or nerves. Somehow they knew without having ridden previously with Tulip at the wheel that this was only the beginning of much worse driving to come.

Not long after the house was out of their sights, Brownie had lit a joint and passed it around. Peter and Davy shared the thought that this would be the only thing that would keep them calm while riding in the back of the van. Peter leaned forward and handed the joint to Tulip. Before Tulip took the joint, Peter gasped, causing him to jump and the joint to fall to the floorboard.

"Watch out for that dog!" Peter pointed

Tulip had bent down to pick up the joint "What dog, man?" He sat back up "Oh fuck!"

Tulip slammed on the brakes, launching all four of them forward. Davy had to grip the back of Brownie's chair in order to keep himself from flying up towards the front of the van. The dog which Peter had pointed out stood in the middle of the road and stared at the van. It sniffed and then walked up to the van before marking it as his "territory".

"Get the hell outta here you dumb mutt!" Tulip shouted out the window, and waved his arm. The dog only looked at him

Brownie got out of the van and walked over to the pooch. The other three guys watched and laughed as he tried to shoo the dog away. A bag of weed fell out of Brownie's shirt pocket and landed on the road. The dog sniffed the bag before picking it up in its mouth and running away.

"No! You furry mother fucker! Get back here with my weed!"

As Brownie began to chase the dog, the other three in the van exploded with laugher. The dog finally stopped running and sat on the ground. It dropped the bag and promptly began to lick its privates. Brownie snatched the bag up but dropped it right away.

"Aw gross! You bastard got slobber all over it!"

He wiped his hand off on his shirt and then kicked the bag up with his foot. While balancing the bag on his foot he then grabbed hold of the bag with his shirt-covered hand. He carried it that way all the way back to the van. The laughter had quieted down considerably but not come to an end. Brownie got into his seat and stashed the weed in the glove box for safe keeping.

"Ok let's go already."

"Yes sir!" Tulip put the van in gear and they drove away

A few hours later their stomachs began to growl. Neither of them had any breakfast before they had left on their journey so they were all famished. They rounded their money up and Tulip pulled into the nearest drive-thru window to order some food for the four of them. The afternoon had turned out so beautiful that neither of them wanted to remain cooped up in the stuffy van. Tulip found a place near the beach to park and they all got out of the van to stretch their legs. Davy and Peter were very relieved to not be in the moving van with Tulip behind the wheel, and on solid ground once again. Brownie took the pillows, cushion and a blanket out of the back of the van and spread them out on the ground. There they sat to eat their fast food lunch.

Upon the hill where they and the parked van sat, they had a great view through the chain fence in front of them of the beach below. The sun shone brightly, casting its very reflection on the water. Birds flew in the sky in a way that made them look as though they were dancing. A few dolphins could be spotted coming up near the shore, diving in and out of the water. This was a very beautiful beach scene before them as they ate, but this was not the scene that they were focused on. Directly in their view on the sand was a group of bikini-clad girls playing a game of volleyball. The guys smiled as they talked amongst themselves about this group of girls. They mentioned about how nice they looked bouncing around and hitting the volleyball, and how much nicer this scene would have been up close. One of the guys mentioned how extremely nice it would have been if the girls were playing the game topless. The other three were not slow at all with their agreement.

After their lunch was consumed they remained there watching the volleyball game. They soon were disrupted by a man behind them clearing his throat. One by one they looked behind them and saw a cop standing there. The cop held his arms crossed over his chest and a serious expression on his face.

"Oh." Peter grinned nervously "Hello officer. May we help you?"

"Yes you may." The cop pointed next to him to a sign that read "no loitering."

"Officer, sir, we swear we didn't see that sign." Said Tulip

"Sure you haven't. Just get a move on. All of you."

They got up and packed the pillows and such back into the van. While the others were getting into the van, Davy stood there with a smile and watched the volleyball girls some more. Peter went over to him and pulled him away from the view.

"Come on Davy. You can watch girls some other time."

"Right. I'm coming." He crawled into the back of the van with Peter

Then with all four of them back in the van, they left the cop and the volleyball girls behind. As nice as that break was, they knew that they needed to get back into what was important; finding Micky and August.

About two hours later the guys had grown bored of being on the road. Somehow a fly had snuck into the back of the van, which caught Peter's attention. He sat there watching carefully as the fly flew around, landing on various spots. The fly buzzed around and then landed on the back of Brownie's seat. Peter moved in as close as he possibly could in order to study it. But then out of nowhere a rolled up newspaper slammed down upon the fly, crushing it. Peter jumped back with a gasp and looked towards Davy who held the paper in his hand.

"Davy noooooooo!!"

"Don't be so dramatic Petah. It was only a fly."

"But he wasn't harming anyone. He was only sitting there. And you killed him!"

"I did not. Look his wing is still moving."

"Oh wow one little wing. How would you like it if you were flying around minding your own business and then this giant bully shows up and smacks you down, leaving you barely able to even move a wing?"

"But I'm not a fly." Davy shrugged

"Does that matter?"

Brownie and Tulip interrupted them by laughing out loud together.

"You two slay me!" Said Tulip

"All that over a dumb fly."

"Hey speaking of fly. Brownie hand me that bong."

Davy and Peter looked at each other stunned.

"You sure you want to do that while driving, Tulip?"

"I'm fine."

Brownie handed the bong to Tulip. Tulip held it with both hands while using his knees to steer. Brownie reached over with a lighter in his hand and lit the bong for him. Meanwhile Peter and Davy sat in the back holding onto each other for dear life. Despite the fact that Tulip acted as though he had done this many times before, his driving showed otherwise as they swerved about. Cars all around them honked their horns as they tried to avoid hitting the van. Tulip exhaled, handed the bong back to Brownie and grabbed the wheel all in one motion. The two Monkees in the back were still frightened and holding onto each other.

"There that wasn't so bad, now was it?" Tulip asked while correcting their course

"You've gotten better at that man!" Brownie remarked with a smile before hitting the bong

"That was better?" Davy whispered while pulling away from Peter

Peter shook his head "I'd hate to see worse."

Tulip laughed "You two ain't seen nothing yet!"

"Please spare us!" The Monkees exclaimed in unison

The two of them were by no means able to relax. They had no idea that getting into Tulip's van would turn out to be such a thrilling experience. If it weren't for the fact that they wanted to find Micky, the two of them would have bailed out of the van and hitched a ride back to the safety of their home. But now they were stuck. They decided to sit back and try to make the best of their wild ride as it lasted. Or the very least, pretend as though they weren't scared out of their minds.


	2. Bring it on home

Part two: Bring it on home

The day had worn on and Tulip's driving surprisingly improved. The four guys were tired and feeling restless at the same time. It had been hours since they started their trip and neither of them had seen any sign of Micky or August any where. After a little while they even had to remind themselves why they were on this adventure to begin with. They even began to complain about having to spend such a gorgeous day riding around in a stuffy van. But they continued going in hopes that their efforts wouldn't be wasted.

Just a little ways ahead of them on the side of the road they spied a man holding a sign. They all deducted that this was a hitchhiker that needed their help. After a brief discussion on whether or not to pick this hitchhiker up, Tulip slowed the van down and pulled over along side of the road where the man stood. He rolled down the window and looked at the man with a grin.

"Where ya headed?" He asked

The dirty, bearded, long-haired man peeked under the rim of his floppy black hat "Away from here."

"Any place in particular?"

"South. Near Mexico way."

"Well right now we're headed south. So hop in the back and we'll drop you off somewhere."

"Thank you kindly."

The man dropped his sign and walked around to the other side of the van. Peter had opened the door and greeted him with a smile.

"Take a seat, mister." He waved his hand towards one of the pillows on the floor "There's plenty of room."

"Surely."

Once the dirty, bearded man climbed into the van, Peter closed the door. The man sat on a pillow in between Davy and Peter. He sat still, looking forward and not saying a word. Soon after Tulip began driving, all four of the original van occupants started to have a strange feeling about this guy. They all remained silent and tried to avoid eye contact with him. At one point the man leaned in close to Davy, staring at the side of his face.

"You look like a girl." He said with a gruff tone "A purdy girl."

"Um uh… uh thanks…?" Davy replied, with a nervous smile

"I like your purdy smile." His voice sounded as though he had been swallowing gravel

Davy laughed nervously "Thank you…" He tried to back away

The man moved closer to him "I like your accent too."

"That, tha-that's lovely." Davy looked away and swallowed

The man moved away from Davy and looked forward again. Davy quietly inched away from the man. After a few minutes of silence the man laughed and began to rub his arms. He scooted over closer to Peter and grinned, showing off the empty space where a tooth should have been. Peter tried to seem as though he was not greatly uncomfortable as he moved away.

The man moved closer after Peter backed away "Have you ever wondered what keeps your skin on?"

"Um… n-no… can't say that I have." He tried to laugh without a nervous tone

Again the man moved away and looked straight forward. The other four guys went back to sitting in their uneasy silence. After fidgeting a little in his spot, the man slowly reached into the pocket of his jeans. When he pulled his hand back out he held onto a pocket knife. He held it up to his face and flipped the blade out. For a moment he stared at the knife blade with a crazed smile. This caught the attention of three of the other passengers. The three of them turned their heads towards the knife-wielding man and gasped. The man reached out to grab Tulip by the shoulder and held the knife to his throat, causing him to swerve uncontrollably in a panic.

"Everyone of you give me your money!"

Peter and Davy, not thinking at all, leapt forward and grabbed hold of the man. They pulled him back while Brownie jumped in the back to help them. Brownie tore the door open and the three of them shoved the man out of the van.

"Floor it! Floor it!" Shouted Brownie to Tulip

Tulip slammed down on the gas pedal, causing the van to speed away. As he drove, the other three guys managed to close the van door. While they could still see the man behind them, however, Brownie managed to go to the very back of the van, drop his pants, and moon the guy as well as other vehicles behind them.

"Take that you bastard!" With his bare behind still pressed against the window he held up his middle finger "Try and rob us, will ya?!"

Other cars honked and Brownie pulled his pants back up. He went back to his seat up front and all four of them fell straight into a bout of laughter.

The whole experience with the hitchhiker had been about a half an hour behind them. They were able to relax once again. However, it didn't take long for boredom to set in. The sudden slowdown with the traffic which brought them to a near traffic jam didn't help their boredom either. Peter mentioned about how if he had a guitar with him he would have sang a song. This prompted Tulip and Brownie to go off in a song that they made up on the spot. Peter even got into it and sang along with them. Meanwhile Davy pulled out a nail file and groomed his nails as he stared out the window.

He blinked when he saw it, thinking that it couldn't have been real. Rubbing his eyes he looked out the window again. Sure enough he indeed saw what he thought he had seen. Going along the side of the road in the grass was a beautiful girl doing cartwheels. Her hair was blowing in the wind she created, her tanned skin was shining in the sun and she moved ever so gracefully. But these weren't the only features he noticed about her, or the first ones. As she continued on with her cartwheels, her ample and quite bare breasts bounced freely.

Peter paused his singing and looked over at Davy. Davy was staring out the window with the biggest smile plastered upon his face. Curious, Peter scooted over to Davy.

"What are you looking at?"

"Check it out!" Davy pointed to the girl with a laugh

"What?" Peter looked out and saw the cartwheel girl and whistled "Well would you look at those!"

"Double D-lightful!" Davy laughed

"What are you guys looking at?" Asked Brownie

"Naked titties!"

"And the chick that goes with them!"

"What? Where?" Was Tulip's reaction

"Ovah there!" Davy pointed, not taking his eyes off of her for a second

All four guys were now watching the cartwheel girl all in her topless glory. This was just the distraction from their boredom that they needed. They had no idea where this cartwheel girl came from but they were much more than glad that she had made her arrival.

"Well hot damn!" Exclaimed Tulip

"Look at her go!" Added Brownie

"Go tits go! Shake and bounce!" Peter cheered

"Please God don't let her stop doing those beautiful cartwheels. Or find a shirt!" Davy beamed

Naturally these four guys were not the only ones watching the cartwheel girl. People in other cars began to honk their horns, whistle and throw out various cat calls towards her. For a moment she paused, turned toward the turtle-paced vehicles, and began bouncing up and down. As she bounced she coaxed the people to cheer her on even more. And that was exactly what everyone in the cars gave to her. She continued doing her cartwheels before disappearing through some nearby trees.

The traffic began to pick up again and most of the people within the vehicles were disappointed over the disappearance of the cartwheel girl. This was no different for the four guys within the van. On the other hand they were glad that the traffic had gone back to a faster pace and they were able to continue on with their journey. But the sight of the cartwheel girl before she made her sudden departure into the trees, gave them something to talk about for a while.

The day dragged on and soon darkened into the night. During a pit stop at a gas station all four of them filed out of the van, bringing a cloud of smoke with them. Three of them laughed as they entered the small gas station store while the fourth stayed by the pump filling the van's gas tank. It took a while for all of them to emerge from the store. But when they returned they all carried a bunch of snack food in their arms and were in the midst of three different and simultaneous conversations that oddly seemed to go together.

Once they all got back into the van they hit the road once again. Inside the van they all laughed while scarffing down their buffet of snacks. After the food was gone and their laughter died down they sat in silence and became mesmerized by the nighttime world surrounding the van. Neither of them cared how late it was and they all knew that their original purpose of this van-bound adventure had been long since abandoned. They were all just happy to be going along for the ride.

Tulip turned down another road in yet another neighborhood. Neither of them knew aside from the fact that they were in San Diego, exactly where they were. They just quietly stared out their windows, taking in the way everything looked in the dark. Brownie had grown especially fascinated by how the headlights looked upon the road. Peter was focused on the stars twinkling in the sky. And Davy just watched as objects passed them by.

"Ok that has to be the fifth time we passed that house." Davy said after about an hour of driving around

"How can you tell? It's dark out." Said Peter

"Trust me. It's the same one. Tulip do you know where we're going?"

"Nope."

"Do you know where we are at least?" Asked Brownie

"Nope."

"Well that's great."

"Ok so maybe I'm a little lost. It's no big deal."

Again Tulip turned down yet another unfamiliar road. About fifteen or so minutes later they looked around the neighborhood that they were in and then looked at Tulip.

"Alright, alright. I drove us back to the same fucking neighborhood."

"How many times have we been here?" Asked Brownie "Four? Five? Six?"

"Ok so I'm a dumbass driving around in circles. What do you want me to do?"

"Let's go home. This is a drag."

"I agree with Brownie." Said Peter

"So do I. I'm tired of being stuck in this shithole van." Added Davy

"Well I could drop you off right here, Dave."

"No that's alright."

"That's what I thought." Tulip said before pulling into a random driveway "Don't worry I'll get us home."

Tulip backed out of the driveway and turned the van around. They then drove away in the opposite direction than the one they had come in. It didn't take long at all, much to their surprise, before they found their way out of San Diego. After a little while they were back in Los Angeles. Once passing the "you are entering…" sign they all let out a big cheer. They were all extremely happy to be just about home. Soon the beach house came into view and then Davy and Peter were even happier. One minute longer, they felt, and they would have lost the rest of their minds completely. When they were dropped off in front of the house, they looked at each other with one big sigh of relief. They knew that the day long trip they just had in the van would provide them with memories that would last a lifetime but they were very glad to have the experience finally over. But somehow they knew that this wasn't the last of the crazy experiences they would have with Brownie and Tulip. For the time being, they could finally relax. What came next was unknown to them, but they knew that after the wild day they had, they would be able to handle anything together.


End file.
